I tried to put my prep school years behind me, but the Kavanaugh report brought it all back: My favorite teacher, the girl from my neighborhood, and the weight of silence.
I never had any question that Christine Blasey Ford was telling the truth. I went to parties with guys like that from places like Landon and St. Alban's in high school - that kind of behavior was commonplace. If only Kavanaugh had said something along the lines of, "I did a lot of stupid things when I was young and drunk and entitled, I see now how wrong that was, and I apologize to anyone I hurt," I might have thought he deserved a chance (setting aside his politics, of course). But instead there was a massive smear campaign against her. Unforgiveable.
If it had been someone other than Trump who nominated him, he probably would have. But the news cycle indicated rumors that Trump was considering revoking his nomination if he "apologized." And Trump hated anyone who showed weakness, so Kavvy doubled down instead.
I didn't go to prep school in the 80s, but the behaviors, the drinking, etc., were the same. If you were a girl and something happened to you, you felt it was your fault for being there in the first place. I never questioned Christine Blasey Ford's story not for one minute.
I'm so sorry this happened to your friend and that she passed away. I can see why you would turn to Punk music. In the days ahead, I think it will be even more important to tell stories like this, to speak the truth and not keep silent.
As a rape victim/survivor, this story has led me to look deeper into why my own life took a weird and downward turn in the '70's. In reality, I was trying to figure out if all men were doing this behind the darkened image in my head.
That darkness was in addition to my hatred of my father who was an insecure and scared man. There was some physical (though never sexual) roughness and I vowed to never trust a man again. In my teens, I took to cutting/slashing my own skin, drinking beginning at age 14, and drug use which continues to this day although the drugs are now prescribed. Prescribed or not, I seem to need to medicate my depression and sadness. Helps a little but I'd really like to go back to heavier drugs: after all, the hit of the first injection will always bring a memory of allowing the darkness to disappear for awhile. Prescriptions just don't do that although weed helps...
I so appreciate your willingness to dig deep and expose the fleshy underbelly and reveal the pain. Childhood is often so mysterious; adulthood less so, but still can be awful painful. Thank you
thank you for sharing the information about the Kavanaugh report; you're right, I missed it. Secondly, this stirred up so many memories of my own adolescence, and it's interesting to focus on the turning point(s) of disappointment and disbelief.
I never had any question that Christine Blasey Ford was telling the truth. I went to parties with guys like that from places like Landon and St. Alban's in high school - that kind of behavior was commonplace. If only Kavanaugh had said something along the lines of, "I did a lot of stupid things when I was young and drunk and entitled, I see now how wrong that was, and I apologize to anyone I hurt," I might have thought he deserved a chance (setting aside his politics, of course). But instead there was a massive smear campaign against her. Unforgiveable.
Yup, agree. And: Ugh. Thank you.
If it had been someone other than Trump who nominated him, he probably would have. But the news cycle indicated rumors that Trump was considering revoking his nomination if he "apologized." And Trump hated anyone who showed weakness, so Kavvy doubled down instead.
Fascinating. I didn’t grasp that nuance of it. Thanks for filling that in….
I didn't go to prep school in the 80s, but the behaviors, the drinking, etc., were the same. If you were a girl and something happened to you, you felt it was your fault for being there in the first place. I never questioned Christine Blasey Ford's story not for one minute.
No, it was so clearly the truth; just the truth most people didn't want to hear.
I'm so sorry this happened to your friend and that she passed away. I can see why you would turn to Punk music. In the days ahead, I think it will be even more important to tell stories like this, to speak the truth and not keep silent.
Beautifully written about such incredible pain. So sick of the never-ending injustice. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you friend, truly!....
Powerful prose. Thanks.
As a rape victim/survivor, this story has led me to look deeper into why my own life took a weird and downward turn in the '70's. In reality, I was trying to figure out if all men were doing this behind the darkened image in my head.
That darkness was in addition to my hatred of my father who was an insecure and scared man. There was some physical (though never sexual) roughness and I vowed to never trust a man again. In my teens, I took to cutting/slashing my own skin, drinking beginning at age 14, and drug use which continues to this day although the drugs are now prescribed. Prescribed or not, I seem to need to medicate my depression and sadness. Helps a little but I'd really like to go back to heavier drugs: after all, the hit of the first injection will always bring a memory of allowing the darkness to disappear for awhile. Prescriptions just don't do that although weed helps...
Thanks Seth.
Thank you for sharing this
Thanks for reading, Vince….
I so appreciate your willingness to dig deep and expose the fleshy underbelly and reveal the pain. Childhood is often so mysterious; adulthood less so, but still can be awful painful. Thank you
Thank YOU, Natasha!
thank you for sharing the information about the Kavanaugh report; you're right, I missed it. Secondly, this stirred up so many memories of my own adolescence, and it's interesting to focus on the turning point(s) of disappointment and disbelief.
The gift (and the heartbreak) of memoir, right? The : "Oh NOW I see it!" moments.... Thanks for reading, Eve.
Thank you, Seth, for this beautifully written piece. Exquisitely tragic, if there is such a term.😥
Appreciate that deeply!
Ugh. That was so endemic, everywhere--and likely still is. Glad you escaped to tell the tale, friend!....